Wednesday, May 25, 2011

I Did NOT Do the Ugly Cry........Until and I don't wanna be Sick!

So This Morning?  I woke up with " an Elephant on My Chest!" You know, that tight feeling in your Chest, that "all over ache" and thought, Whadda??? As I mentioned two days ago, on Monday,,,,I just read and relaxed. I remember telling my son  Sean on Monday, that I was exhausted, and  thought maybe I was "fighting something".....and Yesterday, I felt FINE! Got tons done,,,,ready to hit the ground running this morning........And then the Elephant was sitting there,,,,,when I woke up! Ackk!

Kodi sat "Guard" over me Today,,,,,,, which was really cute,,,,he KNEW his Mom wasn't feeling well.......or maybe he was just hoping I'd give him a Peanut butter Pretzel or two!

This afternoon, I watched Oprah's last show. Loved it! Maybe it's because we've about the same age and we've kind of developed the same mindset. Of course I don't have a talk show and our situations are extremely different....,,,,But I really identified with a lot of her closing statements about pursuing what you love,,,praising  and listening to others, allowing God to work through YOU,,,,,to make life better. I shed a few tears, but managed NOT to do the "Ugly Cry" because well, my chest feels all tight and I just thought it would make everything feek worse......

Then I watched Brian Williams,,,,,On NBC talk about the tornado victims. It hit home with me this week when my/our dear friend Debra of Common Ground fame talked about being SO close to the path of destruction, for sure. And tonight Brian interviewed a young woman that was protected by her husband when the storm passed. Her name is Bethany....She survived, he covered her body with his. In the process, gave up his own life. So? I did the Ugly cry,,,,for her and all the others that lost loved ones, their homes, their communities.

All I could think of, was Bethany's jouney ahead, and what I personally have learned from death and tragedy. We do not KNOW WHY, at least in our lifetimes, why such things can happen.We wish we could do ANYTHING to change these circumstances. To remove pain/suffering from the world. But they DO happen for a reason.....And what we CAN learn from them....what we experience when we go through these losses, horrendous happenings, is the catalyst for Changing the World.........

Most of us have done the "I Wish" thing. No- not the "I wish I was richer/taller/skinnier  BUT, we've also done the "I wish I'd had more time with my  Husband (car accident),Friend (Lou Gehrig's)/my young neighbor( unknown), my co-worker (Cancer)/my Uncle ( heart attack)/my mother.... Those losses, whether through a death of even a simple change of environments, impact us. These people, these circumstances helped to shape who we have become. Some of these "people" wishes are small....the teacher that moved away....the boss that we respected and got a promotion and moved on......And some,,,,were HUGE! Major Changes. And often, Major Losses.

Maybe Oprah's closing messages made me more philisophical.....Maybe its Tornadoes in  Blog neighbor's back yards,,,or maybe it's being under the weather....Whatever the reason, I think it's a good time to be reflective..

I'm appreciative-  Divorce/widowhood/loss of close friends/two tours of Iraq metaphorically with my son, "loss of a Grandchild" and more-they were/ARE Hell,,,,,for any of us. But I'd like to think they made me stronger.....more appreciative, more reflective. And, I guess I'd tell you also that I used to get "Mad as Hell" when people told me HOW Strong I was.  Well, yes, and no. In some ways, I'd give ANYTHING, to NOT be Strong! To have life just go along evenly, contentedly and steady. But I'd like to think that all the adversity DID help me to be a better person. More understanding. More compassionate.So? This Morning? I woke up with an Elephant on my Chest. I'd like to think it's a compassionate Elephant.......

 And I'd also say, Compassion is  part of what makes me do the TYPE of art I do today.....Whimsey/Color/Fun! Because, yes, life CAN be hard! I create things that make ME happy,,,,,and hopefully others too! 

Case in point: I sold a Birthday hat to a Grandma this weekend at Joyworks for her grandaughter's 1st Birthday! She was SO excited,,,,,,,,,and I got all excited TOO, just knowing I was going to be a little part of this "Landmark" event! In my own little "Crafty" way, I took part in a Major family celebration! Wowza!

As Oprah stated,,,,,our contributions may be SMALL,,,,,,but they still mean a LOT, to someone. To ONE Grandma, or One family, to one neighbor, to one friend. Making a difference in the world. My birthday hats, or crowns, or wands, or wedding cake toppers aren't going to Change the World,,,,,But they come from my heart, my experiences, my passion and hopefully,,,,,,they make a little memory in someone's life.

I wish that for ALL of you,,,,,,Big or Small. Make a difference in someone's life. Through your compassion, your listening, your caring, your creativity.

And now,,,,,I'm getting off my soap box,,,,,,,or maybe my "Cough Drop" Box........and wishing you all the BEST! (Now where did I put the Elephant???)

Hugs, love and sorry If I got a bit "deep" Bus!


  1. Kodi, take care of your Mamma! I hope you feel better my precious friend!!


  2. Aw I'm sorry you're sick - darned Elephant! Hope you feel better real soon. I watched all 3 of the last Oprah shows one after another and went through part of a box of Kleenex - yep, ugly cried. I saw her first show and many in between and will miss her. Hugs to you.

  3. You can get deep any day, Shell. I d think these events make us who we are. We don't get a choice as to what comes our way (usually) but we do have a choice in what we do with that. Right now, that choice means that I allow myself to feel as I feel when I need to...I have many several cases of ugly eyes and last night I laughed so hard that my face hurts this morning. I was told, "You can be sad, you don't have to be depressed," and i am shooting for that. I don't like depression (who does!).

    So all about me. Just a little self-centered!!! Thanks for making me think and a hug and a bus from SUNNY San Francisco!


  4. Shell- so sorry you have been I'll- and hope by now you are on the mend. So much to consider here-- there has been so much devastation- such tragedy- so many lives affected and changed forever. I am touched by the strong faith those affected have shown. You are so right my friend- life is so uncertain. We have no promises- like you, I've lost precious family and friends. Every day is a blessing- no one typifies that more than you. Your light shines every where you go--
    Love, Vicki


love it if you take a moment to leave a comment!